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Did you ever have one of those days where it felt like everyone seemed to be against you? Well, yesterday I unfortunately had one of those day. Every person I interacted with was either short with me or just plain rude and condescending. Even some emails I received seemed curt and mean. I told myself to not let their words get to me and just let it go but it’s so hard to do that. I kept replaying each moment in my head which only made me feel worse. I just wanted the day to end as I was so discouraged. All day I kept asking myself: Is it really that hard to be kind and respectful?

One thing I’ve learned in life, is that words can be very powerful. They can cause more harm than even physical pain. For instance, when a person is physically hurt, they may feel immediate pain but over time, the pain will subside, and their wounds will heal. Even the memory of it may fade. But a hurtful conversation can run deep and not only cause immediate pain, but that pain may intensify and deepen over time. It’s an interaction that one never truly forgets.

I recall reading in the bible about the power of our words and recently discovered the following verses:

• In Proverbs 15:4 “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
• In Proverbs 11:17 “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.”
• In Proverbs 15:4 “Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.”

Could you imagine how nice our world would be, if everyone took the time to select their words carefully and communicated in a respectful way. In my memoir, I discuss about a time when I met a perfect stranger who shared with me some information. He could see I was distraught and feeling helpless and what he shared gave me confidence and the courage to go on. He not only used the right words, but his tone was sympathetic and kind when he spoke. It made a huge difference to me so much so, that it’s a conversation and a kindness that I have never forgotten.

In one of my favorite movies, “42” there are many scenes that demonstrate how hurtful words can affect an individual but also the power of words when they are meant well. The movie takes place in 1947 and covers the beginning of Jackie Robinson’s professional baseball career. He is provided a Brooklyn Dodgers Jersey and on the back is the number 42. In one scene, Jackie Robinson faces relentless racial abuse during a baseball game from both the opposing team and the crowd. The racial taunts and insults are overwhelming, and Jackie is visibly distressed by the onslaught. On the way home his wife, Rachel says to him “If they knew you, they would be ashamed.” These words are meant to comfort and reassure him, emphasizing that the hatred he faces is based on ignorance and that those who truly knew him would feel ashamed of their behavior.

If we believe that everyone at their core is good, then we should be ashamed whenever we speak to anyone with cruelty or in a dismissive manner. We need to remember that the person we are speaking to could be someone as wonderful and good natured as Jackie Robinson. Clearly, it’s so important that we are mindful of what we say and even if it takes a bit more work to select the right words, then so be it. We are only the better for it. Imagine how much nicer our days would be if we all did that.

In closing, I’d like to leave you with one other scene from the movie that truly embodied an act of kindness.

During a game in Cincinnati, Pee Wee Reese, a teammate of Jackie Robinson, comes over to Jackie on the field just as the game is about to begin. The crowd had been booing and making a lot of unpleasant noise when Jackie took the field.

Pee Wee puts his arm around him and says “I got family up there from Louisville. I need them to know. I need them to know who I am.” 

He does this to show the crowd his support and solidarity with Robinson in the face of racial hostility and prejudice. His public demonstration of warmth showed acceptance and friendship.

Then the umpire says to Pee Wee “Hey number 1 are we playing ball or socializing?”

Pee Wee says “Playing ball Ump, playing ball.”

Pee Wee then smiles and says to Jackie “Maybe tomorrow we’ll all wear 42, that way they won’t tell us apart.” He suggests that someday, racial differences will be irrelevant, and everyone would be seen and treated as equal.

I can’t’ think of a better display of kindness and between you and I, it didn’t seem that hard at all.

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Interesting fact: The number 42 is the only number that’s been retired by every team in the MLB. Each year on April 15th every player, manager, and coach wears the number 42 to honor the legacy of Jackie Robinson.